Californian death metallers Skeletal Remains play an all-ages show at Melbourne’s Bendigo Hotel today.
Seasoned gig-goers may see this as yet another quality international act overcoming the logistical challenge that is touring Australia and New Zealand. For many younger punters, though, it’s far more than ‘just another gig’.
Think back to what first made you love extreme music to understand why.
Like so many of us, you probably got into it as a teenager. That means you’ll have a story about that one gig, album, or song that blew you away. Think of that moment of incandescent clarity or vivid awesomeness – that singular event that knocked your socks off and permanently seared its way into memory, steering you onto the sinister musical path that you still lovingly tread today.
For some people today, this show all-ages show may turn out to be that very moment.
It could well be one of the first – or maybe even the first – of its kind for many people there.
It could be a formative event in someone’s outlook and identity…
Hear this
The overwhelming majority of seasoned punters are fine, good, alright people. In fact, I know of several who are bringing their kids.
However, in the unlikely event that you happen to encounter, or be from, the (thankfully small) more-metal-than-thou fringe contingent, here’s a heartfelt request to consider doing things a little bit differently.
Don’t be a condescending, elitist wanker.
God forbid if someone can’t name the first five Morbid Angel albums, recite Scream Bloody Gore lyrics, or has a Slipknot shirt.
Old death metal is alive and well and this is inherently awesome. This is evident by the very fact that artists like Skeletal Remains keep doing their thing. It’s brilliant that horrible, ugly, loud, nasty, savage, wonderful music like this gets played and revered, more than thirty years after it crawled out of its putrefying tomb.
But there’s a fundamental difference between flying that flag out of passion – and carrying on like it’s some exclusive club.
So don’t be a jerk about it. And don’t even think about starting that ‘everything was better back in my day’ rhetoric. If today’s crowd has got nothing compared to what things were back in the day, why are you still at the back of the room with your arms crossed? How many beers does it take for you to get moving? And if ‘today’s scene’ or ‘today’s music’ sucks, why are you here?
People listen to music very differently now. Get over it.
Hate to break it to you, but the album era – yes, it’s a thing – has officially declined. While that may sound depressing, it’s merely a repeating cycle. Indeed, today’s emphasis on streamed singles and individual songs (as compared to albums) is uncannily similar to the way music marketing changed in the late ’70s.
Yes, you’ll meet people who cannot name full albums because they YouTube their music. This does not mean they don’t love what listen to any less than you – it is merely a reflection of how artists distribute music these days.
They’re not posers either. They showed up at the gig, didn’t they?
Don’t be a jaded prick.
A jaded individual may look down at those around them because the past is a temptingly comfortable refuge.
If you insist that ‘things were better’ back then, then you conveniently forget that there already was a generation at the time who thought much the same. This phenomenon isn’t limited to live music either: older generations have complained about the ‘youth of today’ for literally thousands of years.
If ‘the younger generation’ is the problem, then consider whether the problem may in fact be your own dissatisfaction and lack of fulfilment. Those people in front of the age are having a ball. Why aren’t you?
Do the right thing when it comes to booze.
Slinging booze over the bar is a venue’s primary income. All-ages shows will, by definition, therefore bring in less money. In turn, that means the promoter and band take a greater commercial risk. A venue with intoxicated underage people is guaranteed to persuade that venue, the promoter, and the band that it’s not worth the risk.
It took years for Victorian music venues to persuade the government that music venues weren’t drug and violence hotbeds. So don’t ruin it for everyone.
Don’t be a creep.
As if that even needs to be said.
Do the right thing if someone else is a creep or an asshole.
Most of the people you meet at shows – people whose left-of-centre music preferences makes them weirdos, just like you – are overwhelmingly friendly, ok, people.
And yet, as in all walks of life, despite all the best efforts, you occasionally encounter assholes. So do the right thing if someone’s being a creep or an asshole in the mosh.
Good friendly violent fun is what we’re all here for. Intentionally groping titties in the mosh, on the other hand, is sexual assault, and should be suitably and ruthlessly dealt with.
Stand further back if you’re tall.
Most human bodies reach their maximum by their mid-teens. However, some people keep growing, albeit slowly, into their early ’20s.
If you’re tall, then on behalf of all vertically challenged gig-goers, please stand further back. And for the love of God, if you’re tall, don’t make it worse with a damn baseball cap indoors.